Saturday, August 31, 2013

Peace in the garden

It is such a lovely morning... brilliant, and colorful under a translucent bird-filled sky. My heart feels light, and bathed in a deep blue color; the color of faith and trust and total surrender.
 
 
I am constantly learning to lean on my Creator rather than on my own abilities for everything in my life. It is such a wonderful feeling to throw wide open my window in the morning and be received by such lovely day, lift up my hands to the sky and let my soul be filled; be satisfied; be calmed down.
 
 

I love the feel of emptiness and cleanliness of a de-cluttered home...
as I go room by room listening to the silence that goes with emptiness,
or sit by the window by the big square table and type away my feelings;
exposing my soul as it is, and all the while peeking outside from time to time
to renovate this inner joy...
 
 
What lovely mixture of sunshine and roses and transparent skies I see from my window today!
 
 
 
 
Why do we insist in filling up our homes with unnecessary things that sucks away our time, our peace of mind, and our freedom? I've been asking myself that question lately. De-cluttering our homes it's a way of de-cluttering our hearts too—me thinks.


I have boxed up, given away and thrown away half of my possessions already and I'm learning that I can still live a happy normal life with so much less... two or three sets of bed linens instead of two dozen. Three or four pairs of shoes instead of 200. My simple, yet lovely white china... get rid of the pink, and the yellow and the blue china that I know I would never use because food doesn't taste, or look better in any other type of china if it isn't white. So why keep them? Odds and ends that can grow into heaping mounds of clutter and chaos. But of course, that's just me, and how I think... not necessarily how it should be. 

 
 
Grapes from my grapevines...

 


Hope your morning is filled with sunshine and peace.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Of magic... hope, and believing.

Although there are a few weeks left in the season, I can feel there has been a shift in the light and air these last few days. I visited the garden this morning and took a deep breath...

 
 
 
  
Indeed, the natural world it's preparing to embrace the magical hours of a magical season. Autumn must be near. Do you feel this way too?
 
 
Enjoying peace in His presence...
shimmering hues of radiance tapping gently at my consciousness...


You see, from now on, anything of the magical sorts can happen... particularly in the garden... It is no wonder a frog appeared out of nowhere on my window sill the other evening...


Ah yes, the most fantastic, magical things can happen...
any time, any day...
unexpectedly, without a reason whatsoever
And all you need to do is believe...


What do you mean—you may ask? Well, I mean things like rain that leaves the most mysterious footprints, breezes at dawn that have secrets to tell you... God within us and all around us.  And oh oh sweet little fairies in lovely ballerina tutus dancing to pre-autumnal incantations too!

 
 

The natural world has a special way of welcoming changes, you know... and we can certainly learn from it. Oh, I am so ready for the arrival of the most enchanting season of all--you?  Hopefully, I won't have to tolerate another winter here...  Have I mentioned how I'm already loving the South?  It is true that I am leaving behind some very dear people and my heart is torn, and deep down somewhere in my most inner secretive part of my little heart I am feeling terribly lonesome and sad... but I'm looking forward to new beginnings, a new life, a new me.  And I know this:  Peace is God's continual gift to me... to you... and you, and to all of us!  It flows abundantly from His throne of grace.
 
 
PS:  Don't let unexpected events throw you off course.  Rather, remember that the best equipping for whatever difficulties you will encounter is your Creator's living Presence... His hand that never lets go of yours.  Ah yes, you'll be find.
 
Good night my friends!


 
 
 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Uncertainties...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Unhurriedly boxing my life away. The kitchen already feels empty and desolated; a forlorn echo runs through it, filling up every crannies and bare spaces with its peculiar melody.

Our house hasn't been sold yet; nonetheless, it is not for us to called it "home" any more. I cannot call it 'my nest' any longer. An odd feeling has accommodated itself inside my brain; it has absorbed my reasoning, I'm just a stranger vaguely moving from room to room in a large unfamiliar house, not knowing exactly what to do next, or what to pack first, or what else should be donated, or given away or thrown away. 

The pantry is a scary place; a scary job to tackle; therefore, I am leaving it as is for now.

In anticipation of that cottage of my dreams, some of my furniture have been repainted all in white; hardwares in black. I've finished them up with a coat of an oil-based clear polyurethane varnish for some extra glossy luxury. I know exactly how I want to decorate this new home of my dreams just using what I already have; know exactly how would it look and feel, as I try to achieve the homey feeling and elegant coziness I am hoping for...

The garden has been uncared for almost throughout the entire summer. It has slip out of my hands without my consent and it is now resembling the rampant wildness of a jungle; all tangled up, and unkempt and unloved. Not as I used to anyways... not as loved and cared for as it once was.

I want to be quiet when I'm there; when I watch it fade away into dimness and muteness at the first kiss of twilight. It is a sad place, or perhaps, is it just my heart?

Today, we brought in a couple of professional landscapers for an estimate, to have the garden cleaned and thinned out. It amounted to $600.00. I guess I will be doing all that job myself now.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted, and I don't know exactly how to proceed. I need to find a new job soon. But where? Here? There? My husband is starting his new job the week after Labor Day. I'm staying behind until our home here is sold... when would that be? And how long would I have to wait or stay here alone? I don't like uncertainties.  I like this quote from Vincent van Gogh: "For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream".

That's what I'll be doing tonight...

Thank you for being here with me my friends.
 
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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Changes...

The old familiar nostalgic feel pervades the early morning hours... 


Days are slowly vanishing beyond a premature chill. Gaudy afternoons are starting to lose their shade; already looking weary and somewhat somnolent. The garden is embracing sleep a tad earlier than usual. Summer wanes. Seasons change. Resolutions and dreams take physical form; they concretize, bringing an assortment of feelings which are difficult to explain, as thrill and uncertainty sync and dance in concert with life. 

And thus, we sit back and watch with astounding eyes as life unfolds before us in surprising and unexpected ways.

We sit, and watch, and from time to time, too, stop to ponder and dream and smell the roses and collect petals, remembering that perhaps these are the last roses and the last petals ever to be collected and treasured from our dear garden.
 

Selling our house has been harder than we had ever anticipated it would be. Things are extremely tough for home sellers now that the market has been dropping for a while. In a down market like this, you have to be willing to make some concessions on price.   Still... no luck thus far.


The hardest part? Having to 'un-cluttered' the garden by removing some of the lovely bushes and perennials, in case they may be scaring away potential buyers who don't have the time or desire to care for a garden of this magnitude.



  
  


I am mystified and astonished beyond belief by all the things that have slowly been unfolding in both, my life and my husband's since the beginning of the year. Imperative decisions, huge changes. I believe that nothing is random, that there is always a reason or purpose to something; particularly true to those whose faith and trust are deposited on our Creator.

Yes, I certainly believe God has a plan or purpose for every one of us. Many people go through life without ever thinking about it—but that doesn't change the fact that God put us where we are for a purpose. Do you believe this? I hope you do!
May you be blessed abundantly.



PS:  We didn't get our house in the woods from my last post.   Our plans fell through at the last minute to someone who bid higher than the asking price.  And all on the same day we happened to put our offer... just minutes after, by the way. Isn't that odd? And thus, we are back to ground zero. No house. No prospect thus far.   Although I have my eyes set on this one now... well, maybe.


I really couldn't begin to thank you enough for all the kind emails, and thoughtful comments and prayers... and yes, even that special post! It is so wonderful to belong to this sisterhood of like-minded people like you. I love you all!