Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The here and now...

I want to sit at the edge of a waxing crescent moon and collect thoughts and visions of beauty; words of wisdoms… to only think of whatever is pure and whatever is lovely. But the mind must be trained on this. It is a continual struggle. And then, the atmosphere has turned blue—the blues of a pitiless January, which persist on piercing my soul with a thousand knives; daggers of ices and stalactites that freeze and obstruct the miracle of light. And there’s a whole world out there of ground-and-ceiling growths made of ice that are as intriguing as they are strange—merciless demons in ice garments; wrapping roses in attire of ices; frozen dew on the ground and the formation of ice in standing bodies of water. And inside… inside dwells an allegory; an absurdity. The atmosphere where dwells the soul is quite complex; it reflects micrometeorological conditions; ribbons and needles of ice in some intricate patterns—much like the outside.  Can you tell I'm feeling blue?



It's normal... it's January.  I wish I'd had a pair of magical ruby slippers, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz movie...



And close my eyes and tap my heels together three times... be wherever I want, do whatever I love, and feel, and close my eyes and see...


But truth be told... the beginning of the new year have been interesting, tough, long, cold, exhausting, oh, and there's a Wicked Witch of the West in my story too; only his a man... I cannot escape... I wish he would melt, like the snows melt on the mountaintop at the glorious greeting the sun gives the mountains...


And maybe... maybe I'm not as unfortunate as I may think... I know exactly how I should feel about this Wicket Witch of the West: ridiculously fortunate. And I am.  So much of this life is a state of mind. A perception. An inner attitude. And thus, I must forget and forgive, forget too that I have mistakenly reformatted my computer and lost every single photograph taken over the last four years of my life. I weep the lost. It's like a part of me gone forever... the one true constant has been my dear husband; always by my side.  I am so grateful for his love and support.  And thus,  I must open my eyes to the many blessings in my life.  Let the outside and the outsiders just be that.  Light candles in the evening, bring light from shadows and place my trust in higher places...





There will be better days... I know.