Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Finding myself

When you find yourself lost, how long does it take you to stumble back upon yourself?—to find you? Have you ever felt that strange feeling that something is not quite right in your life? I mean “dissatisfaction”—such unpleasant word; a void in life, like when you look inside your heart and feel that something is not right?

My dear friend Peter Pan ("hubby"), who by the way is my greatest supporter and best friend ever, always tells me that people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be... some words of truth; except, sometimes those words seem excessively big to me—life-size words if you ask me; especially when I’m feeling stuck in unsatisfactory circumstances. And that’s the worse of feeling one can ever have. Living for survival and not enjoyment can certainly have its toll on me sometimes.

Thanks goodness for gardens and their healing powers, and thanks goodness for all the magical beings that dwell in gardens everywhere too! I mean, gardens and their ‘invisible’ dwellers have the power to always make you feel better. At least that’s the way I want to see things… and oh, these magical beings can teach us one or two things about life too! Just this very morning as I was praying in the garden, a hush of a voice being carried off by the breezes made me turn my head… it must had been a bird; but perhaps was something else?—something or someone more powerful?

That little voice told me that while some circumstances cannot be changed, I have a choice regarding the attitude I will embrace. It told me I have the power to control my thoughts and attitudes, and attitudes are such a secret powerful thing! I cannot control what happens to me, or what others think of me or do to me, but I can always control my attitude towards what happens to me, and how I feel towards the world around me. By controlling my attitude I’m mastering circumstances rather than allowing them to master me…

And that’s what I’m striving for—the impact of a positive attitude in my life; how I react to things I cannot change; not by lying to myself, but rather by living my life through a positive attitude, like looking at life through some new lenses.

It feels so wonderful finding myself back... that feeling of fullness and comfort again. So thankful. And thus, little by little I’m also finding my way back to magic... magic in the everyday.

Magic in God's creation...

...magic all around me

...and within me

Finding fairy paths in the garden too!

...And enjoying the first roses of the season…

...making lovely bouquets with lupines and roses. Love the purple and deep orange combo!

...And playing house outside even when I can tell there’s a storm taking shape around the far corner of the garden towards the east…

I can see big dark clouds soaring atop my head on the wings of a waft of air… clouds devoid of light, like some prehistoric birds above my head. But I love playing house out here.

This corner of the garden is like a fortress to me… it feels so sheltered from the world and everything else… It is also my favorite place of prayer. I just love it.

There's so much I want to share with you; what new things I'm doing, plantings, crafting, creating, my crazy creations with Mod Podge and what new skirts I have and goodies I've baked... so much I want to share with YOU, my friends; friends whom I've never had the pleasure of meeting in person, nevertheless I feel so connected with and let into my life with open arms... May all who come here be blessed. And thank you so much for your prayers and inspiring comments.

"When we are challenged this is precisely the time we need to hold on. When our fears tell us; to escape; to retaliate; to take the easy way out; we need to check with our integrity and spiritual compass. This is where security can be found-in the fruit of our commitment to a higher purpose." (Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD)