Seasons interwoven; the end of one, the beginning of another… and I am feeling a deep desire to be like numinous leaves, blown to that Primitive Garden—a place outside this place. The land of all beginnings.
As I walk the lonesome garden, its landscape becomes my soul; its wintry topography the country of my heart; bared and longing for the bountifulness of seeds and blooms. I am memorizing and treasuring precious memories; of gatherings at the old homestead these past few weeks; treasuring within my heart this yearning—this mystical longing as I see my children and the children of my children setting out on their journey back home.
This is the season of contrasts and thanksgiving, family times and gatherings, but also it is the season of parting and of deep loneliness for many people. It doesn’t matter how hard you hold onto the air you breathe, there is always an end to everything. And thus, I am back to the accustomed ways and my naked trees, gloomy days of the Old December and cold north winds. Can I choose barren simple beauty in a time of thoughtfulness?
At the moment I am caught between two sentiments—the beauty of silence and the reticent joy of clatter and family and the laughter of children and the embracing and whispering in tiny ears “I love you” . How do I choose one without rebuffing the other? Can I choose both? Because I need both.
Like the naked trees outside my window stands my soul before the world.
I know, this loneliness shall pass. I will feel better soon.
I share your sentiment completely! My soul also longs for the first signs of new life!
ReplyDeleteWOW, we are feeling the same but you have worded it better than I have. I just wrote about the same thing on my blog this evening.
ReplyDeleteHow poetic you are Cielo!
I have mixed feelings about the same things. I don't think I have ever experienced this lonely feeling that occurs now that I am no longer raising a family at home. I too love the quiet but I do miss having them close. But the good thing is that I have become so aware of others--especially many elderly people who live with this everyday. Wonderful post, Cielo.
ReplyDeleteIf I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one lonely person into happiness again...I shall not live in vain. ~Emily Dickinson
ReplyDeleteSmile...for it is a new day an you've raised them well :)
Feliz Ano Novo!
ReplyDeleteQue o Senhor esteja a sua frente para indicar-te o caminho certo. O Senhor esteja ao seu lado para abrigar-te em Seus braços e para proteger-te.O Senhor esteja abaixo de ti para acolher-te quando caíres e para livrar-te do laço.O Senhor esteja em ti para consolar-te quando estiveres triste. O Senhor esteja ao teu redor para defender-te quando outros te atacarem. O Senhor esteja acima de ti para te abençoar. Assim te abençoe o benigno Deus em 2012.
ReplyDeletereceba o meu abraço mais carinhoso e toda minha amizade
bjs
Tina (SONHAR E REALIZAR)
I hear you.
ReplyDeleteMay you find what you need to feel good about today. I am thankful for you and that you are here. I love visiting your blog and seeing all the beauty that you so lovingly share with us all.
Hugs to you,
Terri
HOW FUNNY, JUST BEFORE I CAME TO THIS PAGE. I WAS JUST THINKING BOY I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE MORNINGS OF SPRING WHEN THE LITTLE THINGS ARE COMING OUT OF THE GROUND. I LONG FOR LIFE TOO...NICE POST... HAPPY NEW YEAR MAY IT BE A GRAND ONE...WITH LOVE JANICE
ReplyDeleteFEEL BETTER SOON....<3
ReplyDeleteHello Dear Cielo,
ReplyDeleteHaving had one of the most wonderful Christmas' with all our children together, playing games and laughing - it was bittersweet to have them leave the home that still seems to be echoing with their voices and laughter. God has placed within us women great strength and love - we are asked to give our lives to our children, raise them and set them free - our lives are deeply changed when they grow and leave. Gardening is a way we can nurture and bring joy to our hearts and souls. Winter is a necessary time for some of our plants that they might one day awaken to the life within them. Until then we wait, we dream, we plan...if it weren't for these hard times - the joyous times wouldn't be as bright! Hugs from the east coast!
God Bless,
Kathy
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ReplyDelete